I promise, I’m so self-conscious…At times it seems as if that little voice inside your head that points out all your imperfections finds a way to become so deafening that it begins to take precedence over every dimension of your life. It begins to rule the way you dress, the way you act, the places you go, the people you allow into your life, and everything you believe.
So what gives this tiny voice so much power? The response varies depending on whom you ask. Some blame the media, others family environment, abusive relationships or other traumatic experiences. Whichever you believe, it’s evident that on this campus several of us are walking models of insecurity and self-esteem issues.
Fellas, think about the girl in your 8 a.m. class who somehow always seems flawless. Not a stray hair on her head, designer jeans, and a walk that brings tears to your eyes. Sure if you ask her she may insist that she gets up three hours early and has practiced her walk for the last 15 years for her own benefit, and in some cases this could be true, but more than likely the driving force behind her rituals is the pursuit of pleasing someone else.
Ladies, you know the man I am about to describe. He has the nice car with the big rims, gold grill (…if that’s what you like), always blingin’ from his neck to his wrist. Yet if you ever get to really know him you find out he lives in a two-bedroom apartment with 10 of his closest homeboys, and solely depends on overpayment checks to rent his rims and pay his car note. This is a man who really has twisted priorities.
Both are cases of allowing appearances to dictate your behavior or the way in which you live your life. With a glance, these are prevalent lifestyles at PV and beyond, transcending into the African American community.
According to the US Census Bureau, 24.4 percent of African Americans live below the poverty line. However we spend almost $23 billion on clothes and $46.7 billion on cars every year.
Personally, I believe that African Americans are still trying to compensate for years of oppression and feelings of exile. We are still searching for approval in our social, political, and occupational arenas. There are legions of us who are fueled by the opinions of others, and fishing for compliments to boost our self-esteem, in order to fulfill our desires to belong. Now, please don’t be misled into believing that I’m preaching not to be “fly,” or to not look your best!, LOVE YOURSELF
We’re all self-conscious; I’m just the first to admit it.