The idea of people being addicted to love has been entertained repeatedly in books, music, and movies. However, most of us do not need movies to show us what it’s like to be addicted to love. Many of are love addicts ourselves and just don’t know it. What, in fact, is love addiction, and why are some men and women addicted to love? As you may have already guessed, it comes from a psychological addiction that results from a person’s unfulfilled childhood needs. Experts agree that, as a child, if a person’s needs were not met or unrecognized by their parents these needs can carry over into their adult life. Also, these children learn to limit their expectations of being loved. Sayings like, “My needs don’t count,” and “Getting close will hurt,” are common expressions of love addicts.
Love addicts fear rejection, pain, unfamiliar experiences, and have no faith in their own ability to inspire love, so they wait, wish and hope to be loved by that special someone, or “soul mate”, as love addicts tend to commonly put it. They find the world in one person, believe that doing things for their mate will secure their love, and set unrealistic goals for their lovers-goals that often result in their lover scheming.
We all know the person that falls in love within a week of meeting someone, or heard of the couple that elopes after knowing each other for no more than a month. Their explanation is usually a “But, I love him/her,” “Love knows no boundaries,” or “Love will pay the bills.” However, this feeling is frequently not real love, but infatuation.
When asked why some people are addictive lovers, some PV students offered their opinions. Courtney Warren, a civil engineering sophomore, agrees with the expert opinion that “Sometimes it’s because of a person’s past relationships or childhood experiences with their parents.” Uyiosa Oziawe, a biology senior, states, “I think it depends on whether they are used to being in relationships. If they’re lonely, then they tend to fall in love quickly.” “They’re desperate to have a companion, afraid to be by themselves and are insecure with themselves,” says Rondrea Taylor, a sophomore English major.
By no means should it be inferred that being in love is not a good feeling. As one singer exclaims, “Being in love is good for your health!” But because love can make a person do crazy things, it’s important to make sure that what we’re feeling is indeed love, and not abuse it to suit some unfulfilled need.