Someone whom I admired put a very important question to me last week. He asked me who is in my audience. Puzzled by this question at first I quickly remembered how it has often been said that life is a play and we are all just actors on the stage with different parts to perform and a story to tell. Cast and given a script (that is sometimes difficult to portray), we soon have to accept the role and if we do not like the character we are, we can easily change how we present that person we are trying to play.
We can put on a flashy costume, apply flawless make-up, or act out from the bottom of our hearts. We can do everything in our power to ensure we are playing the perfect part to the tee but the most important question is when are we going to stop and ask ourselves who are we performing for? Furthermore, why are we going through all these changes to merely entertain them? Are you only performing because you want the applause and approval of the audience or because you want to finish the production yourself?
“Who is in your audience?” he asked and I was at a loss for words (and for anybody that knows me, you know that is definitely does not happen often). Is it your family, boyfriend, co-workers? Sadly, I had to come to the harsh reality that the people in my audience were only there to criticize my performance and tell me how I could be a better performer.
For semesters of my college career I have executed all my time and energy in trying to please my audience and it’s taking me all this time to realize I forgot that the only one I was supposed to listen to was the Director. I had lost my focus, forgot my lines, and many days I just ran off the stage in tears. I was so devastated that I was not good enough that I just wanted to stop performing and I did. It took many, many, long days and lonely nights before I asked the director for advice.
This month, lifestyles and health is dedicated to promoting the awareness of counseling. While many African American students may have certain idealisms regarding mental assistance, it is important to remember that mental health is just as important as physical health.
Taking care of your mind, feeding your soul, and putting your life in perspective is the most satisfying feeling in the world. Being at peace with myself and content with my circumstances was the part given to me. I am not concerned with whose in my audience anymore because my life is not anyone else’s show.
If people want to be in my audience and support me (adding to my happiness and not criticism) that’s fine but they cannot control my character anymore because that does not work for me. It might not be working for you either if you are having a hard time performing in your life right now. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. Take time out and ask yourself the same question. “Who is in your audience?” And if there is nobody out there clapping for you or cheering you on don’t ever stop performing!