These days a new type of woman can be found in the dating world. She’s self-assured and unafraid of asking a man for his number before he asks for hers.Uncertainty about self-image prevents many women from thinking twice about making the first move. How do men perceive the new age woman? Is she confident and intriguing, or aggressive and domineering? “I see her as confident,” said Melvin Wilcox, a junior communications major. “I don’t think of her negatively. She sees what she wants and she goes and gets it.”
Kevin Edwards, a junior communications major, agreed with Wilcox. “I think women should make the first move more often,” said Edwards. “We, as males, have respect when a woman approaches us. We’ll hear them out, whereas some women tend to be more judgmental when the situation is reversed.”
As times change, so do people’s expectations of the typical behaviors of men and women. So why don’t more women make the first move?
“I think tradition has a lot to do with it,” said Brittany Grant, a junior psychology major. “Most women aren’t accustomed to approaching men, because men have always made the first move. As a result, women don’t feel comfortable doing it because they are unsure of the outcome.” The “fear factor”, as Grant jokingly calls it, is a two-way street and prevents men and women from having meaningful relationships with people whom they feel chemistry with.
Many men do not dispute women making the first move but disagree about the type of men women choose to approach. Leland Boyd, junior management information systems major said, “When they do choose to approach, they’re approaching the wrong type of men. Making the first move on the basis of looks alone often leads to unpredictable results.”
What it’s really about is confidence and maturity. If you feel a connection or attraction to someone beyond the physical, then there’s no sense in letting opportunity pass you by. Having confidence in yourself when approaching someone is always important because any insecurity you feel is transparent to the other person just based on body language?
Always know what you’re going to say before you say it. The key is to be sincere and make sure what you’re saying accurately reflects your personality and intentions. Then observe the person you’re approaching closely. Ask yourself, “Are they really worth the effort?”
Most important of all listen attentively and pay attention to body language. Actions always speak louder than words. Letting someone down easily should not be mistaken for genuine interest. Nevertheless accept the truth for what it is. Rejection usually is undisguised. So ladies, if he isn’t interested, take it in stride, there are plenty of other men who wouldn’t dream of saying no.