Impulse control is the ability to resist an impulse to do something, especially something that is in some way harmful. Impulse control is considered a quality of emotional intelligence. On the other hand, the inability to resist impulses is considered a mental illness and has its own name in the book of mental disorders: Impulse Control Disorder (ICD). Simply speaking, ICD refers to a lack of self-control.The lack of self-control is a factor in many types of unwanted human behaviors: over-eating, anxiety, drug abuse, many forms of violence, and rape. Often, the impulse to commit one of these acts is preceded by an increasing sense of tension or arousal. Although the feelings may be physical, their origin often is in the mind. For example, I spent some years working with drug addicts in South Florida. They taught me that, unlike heroin, addiction to crack cocaine was primarily mental. Indeed, withdrawal from crack will not kill you. The guys often had few symptoms or cravings in treatment, but found that after returning to their homes, triggers in the community are what led to relapse: seeing crack, smelling crack, or seeing old friends.
Self-control can be developed. I believe the best way to develop it is gradually over time. I find the analogy with muscular development helpful in understanding how to strengthen self-control: how to strengthen the mind. When we are training to get stronger muscles, we often use weights. Proper procedure is to begin with a light weight and to practice consistently. As we get stronger, we increase the weight in small increments. Over time, our muscles adapt to the progressive increase in weight and we get stronger.
We can use a similar method to strengthen our mind. Beginning with a small challenge we practice regularly. A challenge can be any activity with a mental component that challenges our ability to stay focused. Examples of challenges are meditation for two minutes, standing on a chair for five minutes, avoiding criticizing others, refraining from a particular food, etc. As our ability to complete the challenge grows, we gradually increase the difficulty of the challenge.
Essentially, our mind becomes increasingly stronger. We are able to use our mind to control any aspect of our behavior. Over time we are able to control our obsessive thinking and gain control over impulses that used to control us. Over time we become able to direct our thinking to empowering thoughts that are supportive of whom we choose to be. Why not devote the time?