What defines how sexy we are? As we consider issues of our self-confidence and how we are attracted to other people, the issue of our sexiness becomes more and more complicated. Is how sexy we are just a result of a genetic luck-of-the draw? Is it determined by how attractive our parents are? Or are certain people in our society just blessed with natural beauty from birth?
Even scarier to our sense of self-absorption is the thought that maybe we are only sexy to ourselves. People seek validation constantly, be it through romantic partners, friends, or society in general, and it is this endless quest that reveals what is perhaps the most shocking secrets of our sexiness; maybe there is no real standard of what is attractive or not, and that everything we consider ‘sexy’ is just a result of what we have been told by society.
Self-image and, more importantly, self-confidence, is one of the most important aspects of our ‘sexiness.’ Of course, too much confidence can make someone completely unattractive, but anyone who has no sense of self-worth is almost never desirable by anybody. It all comes from what we see as attractive.
There is no universal standard of beauty, but no matter what the circumstance, confidence seems to be the ultimate accessory. Anyone who carries him or herself with an air of sexiness or confidence demands others acknowledge it.
Yet, we cannot discount how much clout one’s appearance has in our society. We can’t escape that we have standards of beauty. The standards often vary from culture to culture, and most of them are nothing more than social constructs, but they are undeniable. And there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone because of the way they look; being physically attracted to your romantic partner is very important in a serious relationship.
Furthermore, we have a confirmation bias for the people we see as attractive in our society. We have to admit to ourselves that when we see someone who is pretty or handsome, we really want to think of them as ‘nice’ or ‘good’ people.
Maybe the answer lies in the middle. Finding someone attractive most likely originates in how physically attracted you are to another person, but attraction is only kept alive by how ‘mentally’ attractive someone is. Being mentally attractive, of course, can cover a wide spectrum of personality. As with physical beauty, mental attractiveness is mostly subjective and varies from person to person.
In many ways it is a difficult question to answer; no matter how we see what our society calls ‘sexy’ and what we see as ‘sexy,’ our individual perceptions of people are all subjective. We can’t say that there is a universal ‘this is attractive’ and ‘this is unattractive’ because when you boil everything down, it all depends on the person.