All you single ladies put your hands up and give a brutha a hand. Men in America, especially black men, go through a lot. As men we have held the seat of power and authority throughout the ages until the 20th century. Women, who have been at times oppressed by the men of society, have been liberated from the strict lifestyles once enforced on them. But in all this change has there truly been positive progress? Or perhaps something that was beneficial to society has been lost.
Women now outnumber men in college, with men making up 42 percent of the nation’s college students. It isn’t as if men aren’t going to college like they used to either. Men are now going to school in greater numbers than ever before. But with sex discrimination fading and their job opportunities widening, women are coming on much stronger, often leapfrogging the men to the academic finish.
The number of functional men in the black community has been low due to many issues stemming from violence, incarcerations, and education. Society hasn’t been very fair to the black man in America. But the standards for us haven’t been loosened at all. Academics, jobs, relationships, and other responsibilities have a vice grip on the neck of black men and no one has a hand out to help.
The gender “lines” are becoming blurred if not erased. What was once taboo for women is now viewed as OK. Behaviors that were once attributed to men have translated themselves to women. Given the view of society is that a woman has just as much if not more power than a man, what is to stop them from achieving anything?
But as the dust settles from the erasure of these previous gender barriers, which were once polarized into the minds of all women, what image does it leave for America? The days of when a married man went off to work and provided for his family while his wife stayed at home are all but over. Although women are still divided on the issue the overall attitude of women has shifted from not wanting to be in what was perceived as a subservient role.
Ever since World War II, when women took over the roles of men by holding down steady jobs while men served in the military, the role of women in the workplace has been perceived differently. When the men came back from the war they wanted to get their old jobs back, but some women were not trying to go backwards. Of course the men who got their jobs back soon knew the benefit of having two steady incomes.
Through all this progress where does it leave a man? Especially a man who is looking for family structure, which is considered old and not acceptable by many women today? As a black man going to college, bettering himself and setting a foundation for his future how do his female classmates view him? Do they still want him to be able to provide for himself, balance everything going on in his life, satisfy and provide for them as well, and allow them the free range of having an independent mindset?
Women are now in the position of being more self-sufficient, but has the traditional view of a marriage been completely thrown out of their minds? In the past, roles were defined for men. We work, we provide, we protect, and we make decisions for our families. Women traditionally are supposed to raise children, and take care of the household. If work can be done as well as fulfilling that role then there isn’t any issue. But for black women, not depending on a man is common. While independence is good while alone how do black women today see that mindset translating over into a relationship? Something has to give.
When “I do” rolls off the lips of both people regardless of race, there are and have been roles that both members in this agreement are to fulfill. Can husband and wife both wear the pants? And can a black woman give up the reins and fulfill the role that wives have done for thousands of years, or will a brotha never get a break?