These 21 rules/guidelines are dedicated to those who are, or have been affected by that invisible bond with another being. 1. Why some break up, going into college
Most students our age (most cases with love before marriage) don’t obtain that one element of love as a whole. It blinds you from the rest in a relationship. Some of us are born with it, others upload that element throughout the course of their lives, or the famous “cupid” which is God, places it on your heart, commonly when you are married. One reason people complain about wanting to experience so much in college before they settle down is because they are more concerned with what they are going to miss rather than what they have or could have. If you put a blind fold (that element of love) on them they won’t notice or miss a thing.
2. Second thoughts
Men and women in a situation where a mate is having second thoughts about the relationship being so serious, so committed, or just wanting to break, have to experience everything before they commit themselves. To better yourself and the situation you have to realize it is natural for your mate to feel like that. You cannot do anything but respect their decision, no one can control it. The mind or heart that changed should take their time and enjoy themselves till they feel that they can provide all that is required to love someone. But be cautious of what you do and how long you take because those both can be important factors resulting in the outcome of your future. (You might loose what you had).
3. Before love is established
Let your spouse know up front of the relationship you have in mind so there will be no surprises.
4. Most important
The most important fact in starting a healthy relationship is to be real, describing in detail first your negative characteristics (frequent mood swings, flirtatiousness, long list of sex partners, missing toe, ugly feet, mean father, AIDS etc.). After you know that he/she can accept your flaws, then it could improve what and how they think of you revealing your positive aspects. Just make sure it is done before love is established for the best outcome.
5. Loving someone more than they love you
Loving someone more than they love you is common. It just happens. It’s never really an issue in a relationship. The real issue is the amount one is willing to sacrifice for the other.
6. Trust issues
Trust issues can develop over time or be activated by one’s past. To avoid trust issues, explain yourself. Explain if you feel more comfortable with male/female friends. Explain if you are naturally flirtatious. Explain why you can be trusted to make them feel and know that no matter who you chill with or meet, no one can break up what you have. One mistake people make is changing in the middle of the relationship. You can expect to be questioned if you, all of a sudden, start having special friends and special brothers/sisters or if someone calls in the middle of the night while you’re with your man or woman. Don’t go to sleep with your spouse worrying about who that person may be. Explain to your them who is calling you: “Oh that was a new friend I just met in class, they must not know I am married. I’ll let them know we can only be friends and not to call so late.” How can your spouse not respect you after you’ve been straight up and honest? If a person is scarred from a past relationship it’s their job to let the new spouse know what’s up and how to handle him/her with care in the beginning.
7. Cheating vs. love
Just because you are in love does not mean you will not cheat. Love is irrelevant to cheating. It’s more on the lines of self control. In other words, the best way to never cheat in a relationship is not to put yourself in a situation (i.e. clubbing, friend’s house, party), where you might cheat. Self control is the key.
8. Key to heal a broken heart
The secret to mending a broken heart is as simple as time and space. Yes, love is considered to be connected to the heart, but it is more in the mind than anywhere else. It’s like your middle school locker. It was your first or maybe real combination that you had to remember which was of importance, and maybe at the time you thought you could remember it forever, but today you can’t even remember exactly where that locker was, and if you do, I bet you can’t remember the combination. All it took was time and space for you to move on, with the help of new lockers (for those who can actually remember a combination from middle school, you tend to forget and not think of it so much resulting in new experience’s and second chances, including wisdom.)
9. The truth hurts
The truth can, does, and will forever hurt. If you make a mistake, such as cheating, it will hurt him/her, but of course being honest is the right thing to do. You gain a level of respect but risk the chances of your future with that person. Rarely but possibly, the relationship might have a chance, but changes will occur depending on the new agreement.
10. Sex
Sex early in a relationship tends to devalue new relationships only because it limits what to look forward to in the future. I would advise sex to be the high peak of a new and valued relationship. Limiting sex in an established relationship also tends to bring stress and problems, because of how hard it is to stop. If you are considering limiting or eliminating sex in your relationship due to religion or maybe even just to slow it down a little, first pray about it, second, tell your spouse up front and third, ration sex out wisely. Convert sex from seven times a week to maybe five times a week and so on till your specific goal is met. When eliminating sex in a relationship, be creative with a suitable substitute to help your spouse cope or deal with the change.
To be continued…