Self-talk is the constant stream of chatter that goes on in our heads. Generally, it happens automatically without any conscious effort on our part. Although it may occur unconsciously, self-talk can affect our lives in many ways because what we think about affects our mood and behavior. For example, self-talk reflecting self doubt. Likewise,self-criticism contributes to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Self-doubt can paralyze our decision making. We all seem to have self-talk, but we differ in the kinds of self-talk we have. Some of us have self-talk that reflects personal pride and self-satisfaction. Such people may talk to themselves in respectful, admiring, and encouraging ways; this is positive self-talk. On the other hand, some of us talk to ourselves in very critical and demeaning ways. These people are hard on themselves. They frequently call themselves names and put themselves down. Their self-talk is often discouraging. This is negative self-talk. Generally speaking, it is better to have positive self-talk.
We can learn to control our self-talk. To take control we begin by catching ourselves talking negatively and then making the choice to speak/think differently. At that point we choose to speak from a different view of “reality.” We can choose to be encouraging instead of discouraging, and supportive rather than critical. By consistently practicing this technique, deep-seated habits of self-talk are changed.
Habits of negative self- talk are developed over time and sometimes over many years. They may have begun as criticisms from our parents that were continued by us into adulthood. Consistently interrupting old habits weakens them. By consistently replacing negative self-talk with hopeful and supportive positive self-talk, we interrupt the automatic negative self-talk process and replace it with positive self-talk. Consistent replacement with different, positive self-talk will result in the development of new habits of thinking and speaking. The more we practice this behavior, the stronger the habit becomes.
We can change our self-talk with awareness and practice. By controlling it we control our mood. We can move from a depressed or anxious mood to a calm and content one. We can use positive self-talk to create positive expectations, and that is important because expectations predict outcome. Why not make a commitment to be fully on your team? Learn to talk to yourself like you’re your biggest fan.
The PVAMU Counseling Center is available to help students change self-talk. Help is also available for other behavioral, emotional, and psychological problems. Call 936-857-2511 for an appointment, or send email to vrpendleton@pvamu.edu.