I’ve accepted that my generation has replaced the old with the new. We’ve skipped standing in long lines for online shopping, replaced anticipating snail mail with the immediacy of e-mail and traded our Walkmans for iPods. Over time, it is inevitable that technology will completely change the way we go about our daily lives.
One thing I have yet to come to terms with is our overuse of text messaging. Don’t get me wrong, texting is great for little reminders, quick questions and urgent messages. But when it comes to dating, it seems most things are better left said, not texted.
It’s hard enough to send the right signals in person, but even harder when you have to send or receive a text message and hope that you get the right signals on your phone. (Despite AT&T’s promise of more bars in more places.)
Besides, isn’t the point of texting supposed to make it so things are easier? Yet, aren’t we actually inconveniencing ourselves when it takes longer to text something than to actually say it? Let’s not talk about the ambiguities of “emoticons,” those smiling faces with sinister undertones. What does “;-)” really mean?
While the argument can be made that chivalry isn’t dead, it certainly doesn’t exist in the radio frequencies between two cell phones.
Let’s revel in the old days, when things were done the old-fashioned way, face-to-face, or at least over the phone. When guys had to work up the nerve to ask a girl out and hope she didn’t reject him in his face, or when you called your crush and hoped he or she responded with “Hey, how are you?” when you told them your name instead of “Oh…Who?”
Other relationship milestones, like the first time you’re asked out on a date, the first serious talk and the first time you say “I love you” are all cheapened when they happen through the SMS service of your cell phone provider. “Want 2 go on a d8?” “We need to tlk” and “I luv u” should never suffice in a serious relationship, especially without the decency of T9 (Really, it does wonders).
After all, the novelty in pursuing someone you’re interested in is all in the actual interaction that takes place: the lingering eye contact, the awkward silences and finishing each other’s sentences, none of which happens in a text message.
Nowadays, it seems people are too afraid to put themselves out there, too afraid to put effort into something because they’re too afraid their interest may come off as desperate or needy, which plays into the fact that they’re too afraid to face rejection, literally. Texting is just another wall of insulation between a person and his or her fear of rejection.
I can’t lie, if someone asks me my number, I get the glimmering hope that they’ll call, but usually I’ll wake up the next day to a flashing red light at the corner of my cell phone and a text message that reads, “Wat u doin?”
Aleesa Mann
The Hilltop